Dick Stout – the Guy with Standards

John —  9 May 2012 — 8 Comments

Dick Stout

In December last year I introduced you to my friend, the inimitable Texan Dick Stout. You may review that post by clicking HERE. I briefly mentioned that he was an author of books, a couple of which are shown below and obtainable from retailers such as Regton . Dick has been metal detecting for over 30 years and has written many articles for various hobby related magazines. And that’s the end of the blatant plug … the bill is winging its way across the Atlantic.


In that early blog I described Dick’s website as a cornucopia of interesting information presented in a refreshing way. It’s loaded to the gunwales with goodies. There is useful information and articles on almost everything associated with the hobby … and hundreds of photographs!

Dick has, albeit reluctantly in the first instance, moved over to an easier to navigate blog based on WordPress. You can find that HERE. So, we now have two sites working in tandem until Dick works out what to do with all the information and pictures in the original. Other advantages with the second site is that readers can make a comment, subscribe and be notified whenever Dick makes a new post.

John Howland

The Malamute Saloon

There is a UK presence on Dick’s site in the guise of John Howland. He was one of the cowpokes (full of hooch), caught whooping it up in the Malamute Saloon the day Dangerous Dan McGrew was shot.

John pulls no punches, is edgy and forthright and attracts lots of attention from certain quarters with provocative comments like this:

“Obsessives such as the ‘Warsaw Windbag’ … and his dopey mentor at ‘Heritage Fiction’ … who loathe what we do, are actually, unimportant. Their only function is to wind people up sufficiently enough to attract angered detectorists to their appalling blogs …”

Who on earth can he be talking about? :-)

The best way to see what you are missing is to pop along, have a mosey and perhaps leave a comment. Dick would like that! If you are determined to stay out of trouble, then I advise you sidestep the spittoons and keep well away of the saloon … although there’s nothing to stop you peering through the window if you want to see what’s going on.


And now for a bonus – this is the best rendition of The Shooting of Dan McGrew that I have heard … the guy goes by the name of old outfitter … enjoy! Give him time to get up to speed.


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8 responses to Dick Stout – the Guy with Standards

  1. Hmmmm, after looking up “inimitable” I guess I need to say thank you…. Of course a lot will hinge on the bill being sent this way.

    I do indeed have “standards”, not all of them accepted by the norm, but then again, at the age of 70, who the hell cares?

    Also, the Malamute Saloon, a.k.a. John Howland, is my alter ego, my bouncer, my heavy, my “tell it like it is” buddy. Does he embarrass me? Hell no…..I just let him take the blame. Can’t get any better than that.

    Thanks John for the mention, and know that many of us here in the colonies appreciate your wisdom, knowledge, and in my case, your ability to tell me all about US history.

  2. All very interesting stuff and I am soaking it all up as being a very active old timer myself shortly approaching my 70 years young birthday. The mind says yes the body says no but still out detecting 16 hours per week, how the hell can I stop it after 28 years of unimaginative pleasure and constantly gaining knowledge there is always something new to keep the gray matter ticking over and all the marbles in the right bag.

  3. John Howland 9 May 2012 at 9:19 am

    Jeez…have I been wasting my time?…. “Does he embarrass me? Hell no…..I just let him take the blame. Can’t get any better than that.”

    Hell, so the Malamute Saloon has all been for nothing!

    Good luck John and HH.

  4. John Howland 9 May 2012 at 7:09 pm

    Er….The Malamute Saloon is taken in honour of ‘Eskimo Nell’ as in:

    A bunch of the boys were swigging it there in the Malamute Saloon,
    When in came Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete,
    Singing a ragtime tune…..

    So, gather ’round, ye whorey!
    And listen to my story, and a tale to you I’ll tell,
    Of Dead-Eye Dick and Mexican Pete,
    And the harlot Eskimo Nell.

    When a man grows old, and his balls turn cold,
    And the tip of his prick turns blue,
    When it bends in the middle like a one-string fiddle,
    A tale he’ll tell to you.

    Thes rest of this epic, and vast poem, based on Longfellow’s Ancient Mariner, is so disgustingly filthy, and funny, it’s an hilarious classic in the annals of the drinking man’s poetry.

    I’m not aux fait with the Dangerous Dan Mcgrew saga, though ‘There’s Green Eyed Yellow Idol to the South of Katmandhu’ (there’s another place for ladies furhter down),brings back many happy post-match rugby piss-up memories.

    Hey ho!

    Best wishes, John H

  5. My apologies John.
    That whore house was certainly an interesting place.

    And I always thought that Eskimo Nell was a crude bowdlerised version of Robert Service’s fine ballad about Dan McGrew. The beginning of Nell sounds a bit like The Ancient Mariner, but that’s as far as it goes.

    Methinks the blog – and particularly this post – is destined to become an albatross around my neck :-)

    Incidentally – do you see yourself as Dead-Eyed Dick? Or is that the other fella?

    • John, that last question is loaded….you will be sorry.

    • John Howland 14 May 2012 at 9:13 am

      Well, …er…more a poet/literary figure. Actually, much of the Malamute Saloon is educational. Several people have commented after reading it, “Jeez, that’s taught me a lesson.”

  6. It’s always nice to have an alto ego. Mine is 6’6″ and good looking. Beats sitting in the garden next to the goldfish pond with my red hat and fishing rod.

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