Before any regular visitor to metal detecting forums takes umbrage, shows evidence of great annoyance or starts issuing death threats made out to this innocent scribbler, let me explain the intention of my latest blog post.
What follows is intended to be a light-hearted look at the way different sites promote themselves. Along the way you might recognise the forum that you habitually frequent. It is not to intention to belittle or ridicule the site you consider to be ‘the best on the net’, but simply point out how a description may look to the casual observer. If I ruffle a few feathers along the way, then so be it. I cannot be held responsible for any humourdectomy, hip replacement or any life-saving surgery that you may have recently undergone. Learn to laugh at yourself … just like I do!
As Jane Austen might have said, it is a truth universally acknowledged that the forum you favour is the best out there. Period. You may even recognise your favourite from one of the following; there are plenty to choose from!
1 – THE FRIENDLY MDF our members are few and post only infrequently – if at all. We may not have much to offer in way of expertise, but if you join at least one of the administrators will say hello and welcome you … that’s what he’s been assigned to do; it’s a job.
2 – THE POPULAR and FRIENDLY MDF same as above but with the addition that the staff all get on with each other; something that is often missing from other forums.
3 – WHERE THE MEMBERS COME FIRST this is a difficult one to fathom … what is the real meaning? Do the more vocal members meet on a regular basis to review decisions the owner has made on the running of the forum? Are they able to veto possible developments and run the site in their own way? No. I suspect it simply means that the administrators will listen to what the members have to say … and then do what they want in their own way. And rightly so; the owner is the one paying for the server!
4 – TOP SITE there’s a slight arrogance associated with this statement … or perhaps it shows a lack of imaginative thought. Who says that they are the ‘Top Site” and what exactly does it mean?
5 – WHERE THE EXPERIENCED DETECTORIST HANGS OUT although this rather long-winded statement infers that you shouldn’t bother bother signing up if you are just starting in the hobby, that’s not the case. There are old pros on there of course, but they can always be relied upon to share their little wrinkles with the less fortunate.
6 – THE ORIGINAL MDF we may not be the best, but we were one of the first – and still hanging on – even though our best members have moved on to pastures new.
7 – THE PREMIER MDF perhaps by ‘premier’ they also mean that they were the earliest created, but with the additional meaning of ‘first in importance’ or ‘outstanding’ in some way. Same comment as above, but with a boasting factor well beyond its present standing.
8 – WORLD’S BEST MDF presumably somebody asked detectorists all over the globe to cast their votes and a ceremony, hosted by Christopher Biggins, was held at a well-known Nevada brothel. Madonna had a wardrobe malfunction. Okay, that’s a bit over the top, but the forum describing itself as the ‘world’s best’ displays breathtaking arrogance. Where’s the humility … not even probably the world’s best!
9 – FIRST FOR FINDS FRIENDS AND FUN I like this one’s attempt at arresting alliteration. The guy who dreamed up this one must have been (or is) a Guardian reader!
10 – THE NATIONAL SITE FOR … could this be an presumption erroneously made, a statement taken to be true? Yes, could be … especially when there are other detecting forums in the same ‘country’, Does this site speak for them all? Of course not!
11 – EXCLUSIVE we don’t allow Barford or other jokes on the forum. If you want to fish or hoik a few bottles, then go dig in your own dump!
12 – FOR DETECTORISTS BY DETECTORISTS a more direct way of informing Barford and his associates that they are not welcome. Archaeologists and other heritage professionals are also persona non grata. ‘Go and excavate your massive trenches elsewhere’ is the stark message.
There are detecting forums that don’t have tag lines, make no claims and rely solely on their popularity with the members … something quite refreshing about that approach, don’t you think?After having my little joke, it is only right and proper that I thank all those metal detecting forum owners for their dedication, good will and determination in providing such interesting and useful sites for all detectorists to hang out, to learn about the hobby, as well as sharing their finds. Good on yer and happy new year to you all.
if you are still disgruntled and thinking about making a phone call in protest can I ask you to comment on this site instead. My secretary Mrs. John usually answers all my calls and I don’t want to upset her. Thank you.
BTW, there’s no point in looking up the word ‘humourdectomy’. I made it up.