A Remarkable Sword

1st April 2017 — 25 Comments

North Wales has brilliant beaches, great mountain scenery and a fascinating ancient culture and heritage … and a lot more!  I’ve been aching to tell you this story, but it is only now that I can make the details public. Read on and you will perhaps understand why.

Typical Welsh Landscape – CC Licence

Whilst holidaying in one of the remoter parts of Wales in the summer of last year, a friend and ‘old school’ detectorist – a member of an English forum who wishes to remain anonymous – made a remarkable discovery.

He had recently purchased a second hand Garrett Sea Hunter machine from FleaBay and was keen to try it out on the margin of a lake. What he chanced upon is perhaps one of the greatest treasures ever discovered with a metal detector. Probably. Perhaps. Could be. It is thought. Goodness, I’m beginning to sound like an archaeologist, but hear me out!

In his now shaking hand was a iron sword hafted in gilt bronze and encrusted with sapphires and diamonds. According to archaeologists the excellent condition of the relic was due, in the main, to the peaty conditions in which it was found.

Excalibur Replica Courtesy of English Heritage

Remember, this is the first announcement of the discovery, but expect a media frenzy when they eventually read this! Why? Well, I have been told by ‘experts’, who don’t wish to be quoted, that this weapon could be the legendary sword of King Arthur himself! The word EXCALIBUR is on everyone’s lips.

Problem for the Treasure Valuation Committee (TVC)

I understand that the sword is currently with the British Museum, and has been for a while. They are not, understandably, releasing pictures just yet. The hearing of expert historical, scientific and literary evidence could last for months. Eventual evaluation could also take some time as there is little to compare with this spectacular artefact.

When I asked one expert about its eventual destination he told me that, in his opinion, he doubted any British institution could afford it! He suspected that there would be great interest from major wealthy overseas museums who could afford the £200 to £300  million it would be likely to cost.

Possible Outcome?

I can imagine a furore if the sword is not kept in this country where it belongs. Some way of keeping it here, despite the cost, will be mooted. Whether that be a crowdfunding exercise or some other scheme I wouldn’t like to speculate. But hey, I’m getting ahead of myself. The find may not be the sword of King Arthur! Perish the thought.

But, suppose it is, and the MailOnline makes the purchase. Could Excalibur’s ultimate fate be as the centre-piece of an Arthurian theme park in or near Snowdonia? They have to recoup their money some way. Legend has it that Arthur slew the ogre Rhita Gawr on the slopes of Snowden.

This ancient contest could be played twice-daily for the benefit of thousands of visitors prepared to pay £25 each for the privilege of seeing the sword and taking part in all the associated activities. Think about it.

Who would you choose to play the part of King Arthur? There must be somebody on the detecting forum you inhabit! An old gadgee recently retired who can’t detect anymore, but needs the money and is still capable of physically stabbing Rhita in the back. Send suggestions and a brief résumé and I will make a list of possible applicants.

Anyway, we’ll wait and see the outcome, which I will bring to you just as soon as I know …

Excalibur Aluminum Prop Sword From 1981 Film Excalibur – reproduced with permission


In loving memory of my mentor and writer extraordinaire, the late Jim Patterson, whose original copy and idea I have shamelessly adapted for this blogpost.


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25 responses to A Remarkable Sword

  1. You’re naughty John promoting fake news! You had me going for minute!

  2. Quite a find. Should be fun to watch…thanks John.

  3. Hi John – I would have believed you if you had said it was found with a 2nd hand Garrett Ace 250 ….


  4. That is a interesting thing to keep abreast of, keep us all informed john

  5. An almost incomprehensible amount John.. and it would certainly cut into the budget of any institution.. But what a story.
    I assume the museum is checking the provenance of it..??The romantic in me would love for it to be “THE” sword

  6. Have faith my friends!


  7. John great april fool, keep them comeing

  8. Well so much or my comment….

  9. James O’Keeffe 1st April 2017 at 1:42 AM

    It is great to see that April Fools Day is still alive and kicking !!!

  10. 3/4 the way through:-) well done sire

  11. I read it all thinking wow wow wow then relised what today is …well done john love it

  12. I see a few don’t read the comments before commenting. Good Story John and the only first of April story i have read so far.

  13. Well at least i got fooled first thing in the morning. Plenty of time to stay en guarde for the rest of the day. Bad boy.

  14. Almost had me going John.LOL.Jerry.

  15. I’m too gullible cause I thought it was true too.

  16. April fools you bugger!!!!

    Well written though!

  17. I thought it was more like the LOOF LIRPA type of find but then that would be backward thinking.

  18. David Baverstock 1st April 2017 at 9:38 AM

    Just for a moment John you had me.

  19. It’s the way I tell ’em! 🙂

  20. Respect to you and Jim Patterson. Thank you for a great story.

  21. Joseph from Oregon 1st April 2017 at 3:24 PM

    Ya got me on this one John.

  22. John from Ontario (AKA Geobound) 1st April 2017 at 9:43 PM

    Oh John how I want to believe this is true, I really, really do, but alas I think there is a fool amongst us…….namely you.

    Of course do accept my sincere apologies if I’m wrong, and you are in fact telling the truth. LOL….

    I will wait at the usual forum for an update.

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